does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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