East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
