just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
