I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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