So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
