...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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