All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
