we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My pussy is not your playground.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize