Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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