so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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