sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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