Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
