The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Girls should come with a carfax report
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize