Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
