i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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