The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
