Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
