All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
