so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize