is wine microwaveable?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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