We're like a lot better than the average bears
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
