Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
