even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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