The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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