I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
