He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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