Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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