After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's intense
wanna go halves on a baby?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
