lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
