I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
