last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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