Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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