I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Less talking, more tequila
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
