Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
