Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
