I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
