i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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