your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my poor anus
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
