my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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