So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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