I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
