if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
