A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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