New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize