Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize