shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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