Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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