is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
