I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
