Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
