You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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