ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
