bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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