i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
