glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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