people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
