Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
