A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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