he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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