weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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