All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just cropdusted the office
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize