I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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